Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
