I think my vagina is haunted
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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