I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
