On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
