I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
