just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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