I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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