So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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