I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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