Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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