We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
