She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
