But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
