so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
