you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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