One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize