We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
