the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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