Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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