I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
