sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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