I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
