after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
