I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize