ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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