I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
