i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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