so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
