Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This toilet bowl is my home.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
