My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
