im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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