It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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