yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
