I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
