i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize