no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize