I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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