No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
