i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
