Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
