we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
