If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
