Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
