dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I understand Curling. That high.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
