well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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