I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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