Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the condom got lost in my hair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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