ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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