i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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