that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
