It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
