Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
