dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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