I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
