There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
