I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
