Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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