I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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