Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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