my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
