I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
