I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
