Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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