You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
