Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
