btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
