I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
