I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
