hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
