I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to have your abortion
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
