He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
